Monday, January 8

Jobs and the DMV

I am frustrated, really frustrated. I end up at the DMV this morning to renew my already expired license and there are 38 people in front of me. That's not a big deal because I don't mind waiting my turn; however, I sat down in the black seats that are noticeably dirty and begin waiting patiently when two women seated behind me begin talking about kids. Just then a little bastard walks out from behind me and begins hitting my shoe with a drenching wet dog toy looking thing. The mother of the child says "Say you are sorry, maybe he should have moved his foot." She then proceeds to explain to her friend that she just doesn't know how she is going to handle the three more kids that her "boyfriend" wants to have. Unbelievable. So, as I sit there and become more and more educated in the art of poor child care I decide to go to my care and get a book. I also realize that the DMV, in their infinite knowledge, do not accept debit cards. I then leave the child and its mother to get cash from an ATM and grab my book. That was pleasant. I return to another seat far away from my previous neighbors and begin reading. Much to my delight the line has moved from A046 to A053 and luckily I am only A080, so my time is coming. A few odd and pressured conversations later and an hour and a half my number is finally called. I approach the -Examiner- to be graciously informed that the renewal instructions that I received in the mail are not correct and that I will need my birth certificate to prove that I am a citizen of the United States. Brilliant, I really should have seen this coming but I didn't. Luckily, she told me out of pity to find her when I return and I wouldn't have to wait any longer and she would take care of my renewal. "Sweet" I thought, too soon. I left the DMV to return home and pick up my birth certificate and return to the shit hole but I decided to stop and get a quick bite to eat so that my endurance doesn't suffer for round two when much to my dismay I couldn't find my wallet. I get out of my truck, as I sit in the Taco Bell drive thru and begin looking for my missing wallet. I didn't have any luck so I decide to continue home, pick up the birth certificate, return to the DMV, renew my license, find my wallet and run like hell. No problem with the birth certificate. I return to the DMV and the -Examiner- is there and she takes my info, glances at the birth certificate and I hand her twenty two dollars and she tells me that all I need is my photo taken and I will be finished. I wipe my brow and thank the nice -Examiner- and walk over to where the pictures are taken. The picture taker which is also an -Examiner- (instills great confidence in me) instructs me to sit in front of a blue piece of fabric on a black metal chair with a soiled red cushion and stare at the camera in front of me. She then looks at me in a very awkward way, which coincidentally does make me smile and then turns to speak with an elderly women who is concerned that her license picture is more than two years old. I continue to stare at the camera; however, the smile is gone. A few moments later, ten minutes, she returns to the camera and tells me that my name hasn't came up and she is going to restart the computer and "its going to be a few minutes." "Great, I will be looking for my wallet in the parking lot." I tell her. I exited the picture area and began searching the parking lot for my wallet. No wallet. I returned to the picture area to find several angry looking individual waiting just like me for the damn picture. We were then informed that the computers have crashed and they are sorry but no further IDs or license can be processed today. Funny, I thought. I was right where I began 5 hours earlier except now instead of having an expired license I didn't have a license at all. Luckily, after another 45 minutes I am able to procure a "temporary" license so that I can travel to another testing station and complete this entire process all over again.......





















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